$5.00 CD's didn't hurt either!

This past weekend I attended an event that I probably would normally avoid. It was called "The Rock and Worship Show," a concert tour headlined by Mercy Me. I say I would normally avoid this for a few reasons; I have an aversion to most mainstream christian music. To me, it always feels like it's all been watered down and fed anti-depressants so that it will play well on "family friendly" radio stations and on Sunday mornings when church worship leaders can easily adapt simple melodies and words for their services. It just seems to lose it's artistic merit when that happens. There is an undeniable sound to christian radio, when you are scanning through stations for some reason it's easier to pick out christian stations than country stations. And when most of the music seems to sound the same, that tends to turn me off.

So when I heard Mercy Me was headlining the tour, I was almost ready to dismiss it out of hand. But the other big name was David Crowder Band. It's a group that I've read about their beginnings and believe that they've actually tried to keep things very authentic, so that even though they do mostly worship music and radio stuff, they're an exception to the general movement (particularly on their album "A Collision or 3 + 4 = 7"). So between them and the amazing ticket price of only $10, I decided it was worth a go. And God definitely took the opportunity to point a few things out about myself and about his church.

The concerts were all fairly good and entertaining. Nice energy, great sound volume from the Rose Garden sound system, and I had a good seat. But while I was sitting there I was waiting to be impressed, doubting each act as they stepped on stage. I was sitting only 4 rows up from the floor, but I probably should've been sitting in the upper balcony for how much I was looking down on the first few acts. And while they did fulfill my expectations, God would use this as a point of correction and instruction for me.

Francesca Battistelli stepped on stage and pleasantly surprised me! It was the first group that really felt like they weren't over-produced and whose lyrics didn't sound like remixes from other christian pop songs from the last 5 years. Plus she could really sing! Her act started to warm my opinion to the whole tour. And following her was one of the most original christian acts out there, Family Force 5. Loved their set, constant energy for 7 tracks, non-stop bass-thumping and head-banging rocking out.

After them came the act I had really wanted to see - David Crowder Band. I knew that they had a reputation of being a good live act, and they lived up to it. Played several crowd faves and a couple songs from their new album. Everyone got involved, clapping hands and singing along, made for a fun set.

Mercy Me was ok. They sort of epitomize my feelings with most mainstream christian music, so I wasn't very excited for it. And the vocalist had gotten sick in Idaho, and woke up that morning with only half a voice. Which actually made for a nice show, because the crowd ended up singing most of the songs without band vocals. This touched me. First, God whispered to me, "Look at this, 10,000 of my children, of your brothers and sisters, all praising me with one voice, united in heart and soul. How often do you see that?" Then I look up onto the screen, and there was a shot of the lead singer. He turned the microphone out to the crowd, pulled the feeds from his ears, stepped back and smiled; just taking in the experience of being serenaded at his own concert. "See what I did there," said God. "I just used all of you at once to minister to the heart of this man, who thought he was coming here only to minister to you."

Say whatever about whether I liked the music or not, I couldn't deny the good that God used it. God had blessed these artists with musical talent, and they were using it to glorify him. So how dare I place myself above them, turn my back to them and say their worship, their offering, was beneath me. It wasn't for me, it was made for the Creator, and he alone needs to be pleased with their joyful noise. I had confused my own personal taste with some sort of authority, which I never had any right too especially since I know little more about music except what music I like. I asked God to forgive me there. My pride and my desire to elevate myself above common Christians caused me to sin. I had insulted the artists and my siblings, nearly all of whom are strangers to me.

Humbled, I joined my family in worship. I will still avoid christian radio, but now only out of personal taste with respecting the tastes and gifts God has blessed others with.

Best $10.00 I've spent in a good while.

Satisfaction

Depending on the state for your income is an interesting experience. It's even more interesting when the state unemployment benefits start running out. It starts the imposing a change on your behaviors, in your way of thinking, of just what you're willing to do to make ends meet.

When I was first let go, I first only was looking for work in my field and only at the same level or higher. I was encouraged by the unemployment system to look for jobs I was trained for, had the skill sets for. I was aiming high, so to speak. But now with benefits set to run out in the near future, those ideas are "put to the question." Do I want to try and just get by on my savings and hold out for a great job, or do I need to start widening my search and exploring other options for employment.

It's a very interesting time for increasing self-examination. You are forced to take account of everything your are qualified for, and you're capable of, and also those talents/skills that you lack. You realize that the time you spent doing one thing eliminated time devoted to something else, which at the time seemed like a good idea but right now maybe culinary school should have been a more serious option.

You also start facing just what you are willing to do. You find you have biases against different industries (often for good reason). There are just some places that are a last resort, and others that you just can't stomach the thought of working for at all. McDonald's springs to mind. And it's a curious thing, trying to decide at what point are you uncomfortable enough to take seriously an opening busing tables and washing dishes. At what point are willing to work for only X dollars an hour? At what point are you willing to live with 6 college students to make the rent cheaper?

And it strikes me that I'm being a bit pathetic.

Really. I mean, I'm worried about what sort of place I can live in and what I need to make in order to live with a certain level of comfort. But I'm not considering eating 1 meal of rice and beans a day to make ends meet. I'm not thinking of selling everything and living out of my backpack on the street. I'm not going to have to sell myself to a human trafficking ring to pay off my debts. Even in my aimlessness, my "poverty" I'm still quite well off.

So is it really me facing my own pride here? Am I too good for a job in fast food, or pumping gas, or being a migrant worker? In reality, though I don't want those jobs, ultimately I'm not too good for any job. Because ultimately that's a terrible and mistaken question. People do jobs. Some people need to do the dirty ones. But that doesn't make them less honorable. Jobs don't define people. But we like them to. One of the biggest complaints I heard about Americans while abroad was that the first things they ask are "What is your name," and "What do you do?" Culture tends to be status conscious, whether that's by hanging out with the right crowd, or having noble parents, or earning loads of money, we tend to try and find ways to value people socially. And in nearly all cases, the final purpose is not to purely assign value, but to see where we fit in and how many people we can put beneath us. But that is entirely a human invention, and of no real or lasting value at all.

Now there is something to be said about being gifted by God and not using those talents. If God gives you the blessing of leadership and you are complacent, you are scorning God's gift, and that is definitely a shame. If you are blessed with wealth, but lack the compassion to share it when needed, that too is shameful. And if you are jealous because God has made someone a genius and not you, that too is shameful.

I'll finish by quoting my favorite book of the Bible, Ecclesiastes, which sums up things in such a clean and simple way that I am struck every time I read it:

"Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him - for that is his lot." Eccl. 5:18

Here's hoping that everyone can eat, drink, and find contentment with their good, albeit toilsome, labors.